love is waiting

THE TRUTH

2012-02-05T14:37:00.000-08:00

the truth is... I have stopped to write a few times and each time I have gently backed away, perhaps for fear of what might come out... or for fear that I will be misunderstood.

the truth is... I thought that after having Arthur home, my little page would be flooded with pictures, videos, adoption advice... I thought that even though my life was chaos it somehow wouldn't phase me because we have our boy home!

the truth is... I'm sad! I miss my home, I miss my friends SO MUCH! I miss Aaron. I miss Kansas City. I miss the snow... what?? ... I miss my job.

Arthur is most definitely my ray of sunshine each and every day, but this has been a very hard transition. I have wrestled with the way this all went down. I have racked my brain and tried to find peace about the timing of this move, the purpose of this move, the discomfort of this move... I haven't gotten answers I love, or found complete resolution, but the Lord has been gracious hear me and give me some much needed perspective.

First of all... remember that blog a few posts back where I was having a pity party? Complaining about life and our FREE apartment? I mean, really? What a brat! There are so many people who would kill to live in a place like this for a few months! And those people deserve this break more than we do. Thank you Lord for that little slap on the wrist

... now let's get back to today's pity party where I'm all "whoa is me, I miss my beautiful city and my beautiful friends". In a moment of grief and confusion this morning, the Lord revealed something so important to me! I'm not the only one who had to leave their home and their city and their beautiful friends! Arthur has just done the same! And despite having a mother who is a bit unraveled, he's handling it with grace and courage and laughter! He is growing and thriving! He is not letting this hold him back. He is embracing the life he has now!

So let this be the first of many important things my son will teach me :) I'm so inspired by this little person.

A QUICK UPDATE IN PHOTOS

2012-01-17T10:21:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here at Starbuck's with the company of my ginormous to do list! My sweet, and oh-so-lovely sister in law is watching Arthur today and of course, the most important thing on my list is to share some pictures with you! Here you go!

PACKED AND ON OUR WAY!

BEAUTIFUL ETHIOPIA

HOME!!

WHITE CHRISTMAS IN LUBBOCK

TRAVEL, TRAVEL AND MORE TRAVEL TO ARRIVE IN OUR NEW, OLD HOME, TEXAS!

LET ME EXPLAIN...

2012-01-12T13:00:00.001-08:00

So, I've been sucking at blogging and I wanted to let yell you a little bit about my "situation". The apartment that has been offered up to us so generously by Kingwood United Methodist is quite charming... And when I say "charming" I mean... old-fashioned? Meaning we don't have a dishwasher, or a washer and dryer, or a mailbox, or... You guessed it Internet! No Internet... Well, that's not completely true. Sometimes we can pick up wifi if we take the computer out on the porch, two apartments down. When I blog, I blog from my iphone and posting pictures proves to be a challenge. Come to think of it, life has been quite challenging and even thought his isn't really my style, I'd like to leave you with a sort of sassy list of positives.1. Managed to fix most of the things that were damaged in the move with gorilla glue and furniture marker.2. Peabody remembered how to potty outside!3. We now have hot water!4. The one bedroom is a great place for our family to bond... Especialy in the middle if the night.5. We get a great discount on day care at the church! (too bad there are no openings for the spring)6. Aaron and I finally got rid of our ringworm! ...yes, I'm serious.7. Arthur's intestinal parasites are gone!So, the past month hasn't been the most glamorous, but who cares right?? MyBoy is home!! Still can't believe it! I will do my best to get pictures up soon.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2012-01-03T20:16:00.000-08:00

Wow! The last 30 days have been CUH-RAZY! (stealing that spelling from you, Darby) Here's kind of how things went...

November 29 - Leave for Ethiopia to pick up our SON! (with only one day to pack and make travel arrangements)

December 1 - Pick up Arthur on his birthday and spend 5 beautiful days in Ethiopia

December 6 - Party at the airport! Our sweet friends welcomed us home with signs and balloons :)

December 7 - Aaron gets sick... like can't move... like can't get out of bed... just ill... leaving me to care for our new babe. I was exhausted, emotional and to be honest... wasn't really that confident in my abilities as a mother, so my mom came for a few days to help out! SO GLAD we did that... even though we originally planned on the first few weeks being the three of us.

December 14 - pack up my desk at work and introduce Arthur/say goodbye to my sweet Hallmark friends :(

December 17 - Going away dinner to say goodbye to our dear friends in Kansas City... BOO HOO!

December 18 - Jacob's Well one last time. This is the first church I've really felt a part of, this is the church where we found community, this is the church where I was baptized. I will miss that place!

December 19 - Pack up our car and leave our home to celebrate Christmas in Lubbock with family.

Christmas was CRAZY!!! Always is... in both good and bad ways ;)

December 27 - Aaron and my dad drive back to Kansas City to pack up a small U-HAUL of things to fit into a one bedroom church apartment that will be our temporary home until our house sells.

December 29 - Aaron's sister and I drive from Lubbock to Houston to settle into the apartment.

January 3 - Aaron starts his new job at Kingwood United Methodist.

The truth... it's been tough! This is not how I pictured bringing Arthur home! It's just been chaos! We've kind of been in survival mode and living out of suitcases since we picked him up. I've had to let a lot of things go. Hopefully we can start to get into a rhythm now that we are settled.

Just wanted to catch you up. More about Arthur and how freaking amazing he is in the next post... promise!

CLEARANCE!

2011-11-28T19:45:00.001-08:00

The wait is over, people! This morning we got clearance from the US Embassy! Yes.... you heard me right... after 5 grueling months, we we finally got the green light to travel to get our boy!

wait....

it gets better...

WE LEAVE TOMORROW!

and...
we're going to be reunited with Arthur ON HIS BIRTHDAY!! ...his wonderful, magical birthday! PRAISE GOD!

I hope to be able to go into more detail about some very important things that happened while we waited and the fun little details of today, but I need to finish packing!

Thank you everyone who has followed our story! People we know about and people we don't know about! We have relied on prayers and encouragement and we are so so humbled that you care ;)

BIG NEWS!!

2011-11-07T12:22:00.000-08:00

Our papers were successfully submitted last Wednesday! (so sorry for the delay updating the blog) This is huge!! We've been waiting for this for 10 weeks and it finally happened!

So what now?? Well, one of three things could happen now...

ONE: The US Embassy could review our file, maybe request a couple additional documents and then clear us for travel! If this happens, it's possible we could be in Ethiopia for Thanksgiving.

TWO: The US Embassy could review our file and determine that there is insufficient evidence to declare Arthur an orphan. In that case, our file would be sent to USCIS Nairobi for review. The staff from USCIS in Nairobi were expected to arrive in Addis Ababa today to start going through these cases. If this happens, it's possible we would be in Ethiopia for Christmas!

THREE: Nairobi reviews our file and wants to investigate our case. If they decide to do an investigation, they have 3 months to collect evidence. If this happens, it's possible that we could be in Ethiopia for Valentine's Day!

Of course, we prefer scenario number one, but we are mostly glad that things are moving again!!

NEWS, HOPE, & MOM FIRE

2011-10-31T09:40:00.000-07:00

I was trying to wait to share news until we were more certain that we actually had news... but then I just thought... "what the hay"... plus I've been thinking a lot about hope and what it really means to hope and, gosh... sometimes hope is really hard!

Last Wednesday I woke up and something happened... a fire grew in me... I will call it the great Mama fire. Something hit me and I thought... ENOUGH! We've got to do something!! All of the sudden I was ready to call a lawyer, go to Ethiopia, bust through those court doors, whatever... I was hurt and confused and I had hit my limit... I was mad! I emailed our consultant and asked a series of questions and made demands and tried really hard not to direct my anger towards her...

The timing of the "mom fire" became quite humorous when our consultant emailed us back informing us that the judge had fixed our decree. "umm... oh ok." ha!

So this is really exciting news right? But for some reason, we hesitated to celebrate. It probably had something to do with the emotions of the day, or the fact that the email read "it appears that the judge has fixed your documents", but it was mostly the fact that cynicism had crept in... YUCK! Week after week of hoping only to hear nothing new will wear you down. It will make you feel foolish. It will crush your sprit and then you will decide to be cynical instead. Will you pray that we can dare to hope again?

HOPE LIST:

that our agency will collect and translate our documents so that they can be submitted this week

that the US Embassy will accept our case this time

that our case doesn't have to go to Nairobi

that even if it does go to Nairobi it wont be a huge setback

that we will get to reunite with Arthur before his first birthday

that we will get to have Christmas with Arthur

INSPIRED

2011-10-27T08:39:00.000-07:00

For a while now, I've felt like I needed to start something. Something creative that will keep me busy and something that can contain some of this anxious energy. I've had several ideas, but never was inspired enough to start. One of the ideas was a series of animal illustrations, but there wasn't a whole lot of substance to that idea... until... again my mom helped me to make this idea more complete. More interesting.

My mom and I love looking for meaning in God's creation. We will often talk about animals that cross our path and what they mean. It's just cool to stop and think about how every different animal has unique characteristics.

So, the project! I will draw a series of animals. I'll draw animals as they cross our path. I'm starting with a beaver. My mom spotted this one a few weeks ago. The beaver is a builder, seeking alternatives to solve problems. Pretty creative creature!

What animals are crossing your path?

p.s. the series will probably move over to my design blog.
Check in there if you want to see more animals.

MORE ABOUT OUR MOVE

2011-10-20T12:22:00.000-07:00

First of all, Aaron and I are both from Lubbock, Texas though we never really lived life there together. Our dating and married life has been lived in Kansas City and we LOVE that! We love Kansas City! We've been here for about five years and it's been a great adventure for us! We have loved exploring a new city together, making decisions on our own and growing into who we are as a couple! We started careers here, we bought our first home here, we dreamed BIG dreams here... I was baptized here, and the list goes on!

Kansas City is a huge part of our story and has a special place in our hearts, but the voice calling us home could not be quieted... especially when we thought about starting a family!

We talked about moving back to Texas a lot over the years and knew we wanted to be closer to family at some point. We weren't really in a hurry... every once in a while we would see what jobs were out there and maybe network a little. We knew it would take a pretty big opportunity to get us to seriously think about moving.

Back in April... Aaron started talking with the associate pastor at Kingwood United Methodist church about a new service he had started there and the opportunity to bring in another worship leader. Currently the church is pretty traditional, but this new service has attracted some young families and they're hoping to grow that service.

It definitely caught our attention, but... Houston? Really? Houston was never really on our radar and actually before all this came about I had never even been there (seeing as how it's 9 hours from Lubbock! Ha!) In May the church flew us both out for an interview and to be honest... we struggled to be open minded about it. We knew we needed to be, we just didn't think this was "it". But the more we talked, the more we really began to see that we had a lot of similar ideas about what this service could look like. We also started to see what this opportunity could mean for our family. I would have the opportunity to work from home part time and be with Arthur! We would be close to family... we would no longer have to endure freezing cold, snowy, depressing winters ;) but seriously... winters here are horrible and I will not miss them.

After a lot of thought and months of going back and forth... we decided to take the plunge!

So... what does this mean for our adoption? Well, to be honest... the timing of this move has the potential to mean BIG MESS as far as our adoption goes. Our house has been on the market for a couple weeks now. If it sells, we will be relieved knowing that we can go to Houston and not have two house payments! BUT if it doesn't sell and we are still the owners when Arthur comes home... it will mean a little less money and a lot less paperwork. So, I guess we're ok either way... I honestly lean more toward the house selling, but who knows what God is going to do! We'll have to wait and see... we're getting a little tired of "wait and see"

BUNNY TRAIL

2011-10-18T12:06:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up confused, angry, and a little hopeless. I just felt like this was all just a cruel joke and that God was withholding Arthur until we learned what He wanted us to learn. But what?? What else God? I don't know how to let go more than I already have! What other work needs to be done?? In a conversation with my mom this morning she said...

"Go cover yourself in light and pray"

I grumpily said to myself "light? what light? It's a cloudy, gloomy day." I fought her direction for about an hour and then finally got up from my desk and went to my car and began my quest to find light... as soon as I exited the garage I saw a lone street light on in an abandoned parking lot! (I'm a very literal person, if you hadn't figured that out). I parked the car, grabbed my bible and sat in that vacant parking lot under the light and began to pray.

Ok what I'm about to say is a little cheesy, but this is just what happened... and hey, I was desperate! I opened my bible and as I was praying the wind blew the pages to Jeremiah 29... hmmm. I sat there a little longer and then realized that I really needed to do this with Aaron, so I marked the page and headed home.

We read through a few chapters and then talked through what we were feeling. Some things became VERY clear! First of all, a lot of scripture about waiting points to Christ's coming. I found myself reading along feeling encouraged and then realizing "oh, the prize in the end is Christ? not Arthur?" We read about how Jeremiah was called to purchase land even though it was about to be handed over to the Babylonians. He held on to God's promise of restoration and praised Him, believing there was "nothing too hard for Him". There were so many things that stood out, but the one that Aaron and I want to hold onto in this time is Jeremiah 30:40 & 41

40 And I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good for them. I will put a desire in their hearts to worship me, and they will never leave me. ⁴¹ I will find joy doing good for them and will faithfully and wholeheartedly replant them in this land.

It's difficult to even sum up what God did for us today through this strange little bunny trail, but I think we realized that we were the ones withholding. We have been withholding our worship, saving it for the victory that He will bring in the end, but how did we forget?... the victory has already been won! Arthur is not the victory, Christ in us is the victory and we have been reminded that our worship to Him should not cease in this time of waiting!

God has called us to trust in his promise to us... and that even in the midst of the "babylonian defeat", he has promised us good. We are thanking Him for today for calling us into this incredible journey. We are thanking Him for all that He has done already! We are thanking Him for the "path by which we came" (Jeremiah 31:21) We are thanking Him that we can now see the the beauty of the sun on a cloudy day...

HAPPY BOY!

2011-10-17T11:15:00.001-07:00

Thank you Nathan and Michelle for capturing this sweet video of our boys!

WELL GUYS...

2011-10-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

...It's time to get real! I just want you guys to know that things are not looking good. Five families (that we know of) now have gotten news from the US Embassy that there is insufficient evidence to move forward with their adoption at this time. The cases are being forwarded to another government entity and the families were told that they will be notified again in 1-2 months after the case has been reviewed. This is happening across all agencies. I keep reminding myself that while this is a crazy mess... the ultimate goal is to insure that no unethical adoptions go through the system! And if any of these kids were put into this system by unethical means, I pray that they are uncovered and that those children can go back to their birth families!

We still have not been submitted to the US Embassy, but we definitely have common links with some of the families who are getting this news, so I would guess that we are in the same boat. And somehow the Lord is giving me tremendous strength and peace about it!

I feel like my trust has grown and it goes so much deeper now! Before I would set limits to my trust... I would set out timelines for how long my trust would last. Week after week I would pray and hope that good news would come and if it didn't, I felt like God had not been faithful... but really it was just that my faith and trust was conditional on a timeline. I thought that one more week was all I could bear. I'm finding out that my trust can go beyond a timeline! What an amazing thing God has done in my heart. No matter how long this takes or how it ends, this will remain true...

Arthur is our son!

I GOT MY WISH!!

2011-10-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

Finally! a smile on that boy's face!! He just needed a little encouragement from a friend. There are so many reasons I love this photo... I mean the BATMAN shirt alone is awesome!! But, I just love how it illustrates that they are in this together just like their mothers and fathers all the way across the world. When things started getting crazy, all of the families started reaching out to each other... mostly on facebook. I started to realize that it wasn't just us stuck in this whole mess! We started stalking each other for bits and pieces of news. We encouraged each other and prayed for each other. I decided to start a group for us and while we've had our moments of gloom and doom and bringing each other down... it's mostly been a place we can go to be lifted up. I really don't know what I would do without these other families! They are the only ones who really know how Aaron and I feel!

There are 19 of us who have passed court and are in different stages with the U.S. Embassy. And after almost 7 weeks, only 5 of the 19 have been cleared for travel to pick up their kids. The bond that has been created between these families is something that would not have happened if our adoptions went smoothly. I'm starting to see huge blessing in this time of pain and waiting. We are already starting to plan reunions for the group and I LOVE the idea that these kids get to have relationships with each other throughout their lives. It's a huge part of their history that could have been easily lost.

I also had to share that Arthur just turned 10 months and he is standing all by himself!! Such a big boy!!

WE'RE MOVING...

2011-10-05T19:09:00.000-07:00

Last Friday Aaron accepted a job in Kingwood, Texas. We're really excited about this new adventure. It's going to be great to get back to Texas and be close to family again. It's also going to be so so sad for us to leave this amazing city that has become home to us. I have a lot more to say about how this came to be and what our timeline looks like. Stay tuned...

PRETTY IN PINK

2011-10-05T11:04:00.000-07:00

Here are the newest pictures of our sad little, serious little boy. I am ready to get an updated picture of that boy smiling! Why so serious, Arthur?? You need to lighten up little dude! Maybe it's because they put him in a little girls outfit. He. Is. Pissed.

Last week we were filled with hope because we knew our papers were traveling back to court to be fixed. We thought for sure they would be fixed and we would finally be submitted!! Well Friday came and went without a lot of movement. So once again we put all of our hopes into the next week... this week. And now it's already Wednesday. How long does it take to sign a damn piece of paper?? Do it NOW, please??

The part that is especially hard for me to think about now is... even if we do get submitted this week, it will likely be another 6 weeks before we get to get Arthur. We've been watching the families who have been submitted and it seems to be taking anywhere from 4-8 weeks! BAH!! I'm so done with this whole thing. It's just the worst. Please pray for us as this wait is sometimes just unbearable.

HMM...

2011-09-29T08:42:00.000-07:00

Not what I was hoping for, but check out the time on that email! Just a little wink from God. Thanks!

(Sorry, I should have explained better. I just got so excited. Blogger shows that I posted the 62 hour post at 8:21 PM on Monday. I got this email from our consultant exactly 62 hours later... down to the minute! ha! I just feel like it's God saying "I haven't forgotten you" So encouraged today.)

62 HOURS

2011-09-26T20:21:00.000-07:00

Today Kelsey left this comment on our blog...

... and we thought, "why not?" Let's give it a shot. Let's countdown and see what happens 62 hours from now! Ready... go! Can you tell we're getting to that delirious part of our wait? It's been 3 months since we saw our son! Ridiculous!

WOW!

2011-09-25T15:27:00.000-07:00

Since that last post, so many people reached out to me with encouragement and sweet words of advice and it has been oh so helpful. Most days I can manage, but then there are those days when I just don't think I can bear it another minute. I'm feeling much better now and excited to start a new week. I'm pretty sure Peg is working on getting us some new photos... AND guess what?! The judge is back and her staff must be up and running because she has agreed to look at our papers (and hopefully fix our decree) this week! By the looks of this fortune cookie Aaron got last week... it could be Monday :)

Also, there is a very big meeting happening at the U.S. Embassy in Ethiopia this week! Ambassador Susan Jacobs, Special Advisor for Children's Issues at the U.S. Department of State, and Joanna Ruppel, Chief of International Operations for U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, will all be there to discuss inter-country adoption in Africa and specifically in Ethiopia. They will also discuss Embassy procedures and answer questions.

I'm hoping this meeting will clear some things up so that we can see clearance for a lot of families. There's a group of about 20 of us from Children's Hope who are just stuck right now. Only 3 families have received clearance!

The good news is, our agency has been able to see what the Embassy wants from the families cases that were submitted a few weeks ago. Now they are ready with the documents as soon as the Embassy requests them. Hopefully that means that by the time we actually get submitted things will move along a little quicker.

Here's to a new week! I feel like it's going to be an exciting one!

SHUTTING OFF

2011-09-20T08:17:00.000-07:00

About a month ago, everything was running so smoothly and we were on track to bring Arthur home around the first week of September... (at the latest!) Aaron and I were busy putting the finishing touches on the room, I was making plans for maternity leave, we met with pediatricians, even had Arthur's bag packed! It was such a joyful time as we felt Arthur's homecoming so near! We would sit in his room and read books and look at all his things. We were ready! Our hearts were readying for this change. We were becoming parents.

When we got the news that we might have a considerably longer wait, it was such a shock! It took time for us to adjust to this change. We had already imagined so many things with this nine month old boy. I was all caught up on "What to Expect" in month nine. We pictured one last summer swim with our boy. We were picking out his Halloween costume.

For a while I just couldn't believe it. I kept expecting good news, only to be disappointed again. Day after day, that became too painful. Keeping my heart fully open to our son and feeling the same pain every day was so hard. I wasn't getting my work done. I was forcing joy.

Slowly, I closed myself off to that pain and disappointment. I stopped going into his room. I stopped hoping for and imagining a homecoming. It was just too hard to keep going there.

I had lunch with a friend, neighbor and mother and I shared how I was feeling with her... she also let me have it! Saying,

"You're shutting off to your son! That's not ok!"

Wow! I hate that this is happening and I honestly don't know how to climb out of this pit. I feel so selfish and cowardly and cold for doing this, but right now it's the only way I function :(

I know there are so many adoptive families who have done this. Gone through this wait after meeting your child. How did you do it??

IF IT SOUNDS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE...

2011-09-15T12:24:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, the Ethiopian adoption community caught wind of this Buy One Get One Free promotion on Ethiopian Air. News of this promotion spread just as all of the Ethiopian Adoptive parents were starting to go a little crazy and were desperate to see their kids. NOT a good combo!

How gracious of God to send the travel angels down and give us this deal...

I mean, how can we really put a price on seeing our son?

We'll never regret it. This boy really needs his mama!

Better yet, we'll just go over there and wait it out!

I gotta see him!

I know it sounds crazy, but we just HAVE to go!

So many thoughts spinning through my head. So many people generously offering advice, financial support... And it's true that we are both fortunate to have flexible jobs. We're fortunate that friends and family want to give us money to help ease this burden for us. But deep down I never really felt peace about going. Going felt more like a panicked, dramatic and desperate response. (Well, the panic probably had to do with the fact that you had a window of 4 days to book your flight.)

The more we walked down that bright and shiny road with blinking lights and signs that said "Go see your son", the more we found doors closing and a path that really led nowhere.

Our travel agent attempted to explain all these extra fees that i didn't understand and then finally compared the BOGO flight to a regular flight on another airline without a promotion.... The BOGO flights were only $70 cheaper!! AND they had us staying in D.C. overnight...

We spoke with the agency about our idea to come visit. They were so helpful and gave us a lot of information, but she couldn't really guarantee that we would be able to spend a lot of time with our boy. Their staff at the transition home is so busy!

Then my mom really let me have it when she said... "You know, this is really more for you and Aaron. Arthur wont remember this." Ouch! That hurt to hear, but she's right! Don't you love how moms can just give it to you straight.

No, it's not ideal for Arthur to be in the transition home for this long, but he's healthy and the staff there are so sweet and loving towards him This is not a life and death situation. And even with help, we would still be spending everything that we have saved up for our second trip. If we are going to spend more money I think it would be more wise to spend it on a longer leave from work.

This journey is tough, but I want to believe that God is bigger than all of this... bigger than the distance. Bigger than 2 more months apart. Bigger than the demands of the US Embassy. I know that this is the path he has us on and that all will be redeemed in the end.

UPDATE

2011-09-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

new photo :)

It was an uncomfortable thing for me to invite people into our home and pray with us. The day after I requested prayer (from almost every person I know) I felt so weak, so selfish. I know so many people who are going through things that just as or maybe even more difficult than this and I wished that I was stronger. A couple of friends encouraged me that day and told me that they really admired the way we called on our community and hoped that our example would lead more people to do the same in tough times. Those words gave me a new excitement leading in to our night of prayer. We had no idea what to expect, but we went ahead and gathered all the chairs we could find and fit them in our living room. When we began to pray I realized that EVERY CHAIR was taken! It was such an amazing night filled with beautiful words from our friends. It was perfect. Every prayer was so unique. Each one spoke about our Father's heart for us and our family. He's walking alongside us, sharing in our pain.

Kelsey prayed through the story in Exodus about God leading the Israelites out of Egypt. She thanked the Lord for the path He chose for them. It was not the shortest path and the Israelites didn't understand. They panicked and doubted, but in the end it was clear that there was great purpose in that path. God did not forget them. God knew the best way!

On Thursday we received the news that we would in fact have to wait for the courts to reopen. This was definitely hard news to take, but I'm trusting that there is a great purpose in this path that we can't see. So, the big question is WHEN DO THE COURTS REOPEN? Well... the courts could reopen anywhere between the end of September and the end of October. We probably wont know for sure until about a week before they open. Today we heard that the judge is back in Addis now and just might be back in the office next week. Oh, I hope!!!!

I knew a lot of people weren't going to be able to be there in person, and I decided to write down the name of every person who committed to praying on our chalkboard door. I love the idea that we can show Arthur later how many people prayed for us during this tough time. Thank you so much!!

PRAY WITH US?

2011-09-06T10:22:00.000-07:00

The weekend was long. and sad. I got so nervous last night thinking about what we might hear today. I knew there was a good chance that the news would not be good.

Let me catch you up... A couple weeks ago we received news that we could not be submitted to the Embassy because of some mismatch paperwork. The big question then was "Do we need a judge to sign off on this fix?" If we did it would likely mean waiting until the courts reopen in October.

Unfortunately, the answer is "yes we do need a judge to sign off on the fix," BUT last week our agency found a judge who has helped with things like this in the past. She was not willing to sign off on our decree without seeing all the paperwork to back it up. So, now we are trying to find someone who can get into the courts and gather the necessary documents to take to this judge so that she has proof and will sign for us. They are also going to go back to plan A, which was write a narrative explaining our case in more detail and then see if the Embassy would take another look.

Does any of this really make sense? ...honestly, a lot of it doesn't. I have asked so many questions and have questions still... like "Why is our paperwork stuck somewhere in the courts instead of traveling with the rest of our case to the Embassy?" and "If the courts are closed, why are there judges still working?"

We want to invite you to pray with us tomorrow night at 8:30 CST. If you know us and you know where we live, we're inviting you to come over and pray with us. Here are some requests:

That God would miraculously have this problem fixed and that we could be submitted this week.

That God would prepare Aaron and I for whatever wait is before us.

That God would begin to bond our family even while we're apart.

That God would give us and our agency wisdom and clarity for our situation.

SURRENDER

2011-09-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

Wow! This week has been tough. Full of uncertainty, worry, doubt, and pain, but through it all God has been so near and He has shown us SO MUCH! I can honestly say now that even if I could I would not change what happened last week.

The first couple of days I felt like a toddler crossing my arms, scrunching my eyebrows and saying "NO FAIR!" We felt singled out. We felt like we did something wrong and we were in time out. Then the weekend hit and things got real! I could not shake the thought that Arthur was not going to come home. I tried to ignore it, but it just kept nagging. I didn't even want to say it out loud. I felt like saying it out loud would somehow give it more power. Plus, I didn't want to freak Aaron out! I was confused. I didn't know if this was just a lie or if this was God asking me to surrender. I sat in church Sunday searching scripture, texting my mom, texting Aaron's mom. I wanted answers!

As I got up to leave, a woman at church stopped me and asked how I was doing... I told her "I just keep thinking the worst and I feel like God is asking me to give Arthur up. And giving him up fully means trusting Him even if we lose Arthur!" There. I said it! It was a miraculous moment of clarity. She, being a mother of three, encouraged me and gently confirmed that I was on the right track. It's something every mother has to do... and most of the time more than once.

Well, people it's Thursday and I have given Arthur up to God three times! ha! I'm feeling a lot of peace. I've had to grieve my timeline and sort of gear up for something new. I have a deeper appreciation for this process and what a gift it is that we get to bring this little boy home!

We are feeling your prayers and feeling so loved!

THANK YOU!!

ARTHUR'S ROOM!

2011-08-29T08:56:00.000-07:00

Last week's news has been difficult to handle. The weekends are always long because there's no new information. There's no one working on our case over the weekend. We are excited about a new week and we're inviting joy into our lives.

We have been dying to show you Arthur's room, but we've been waiting because something really exciting happened! The beautiful people at ohdeedoh have decided to feature Art's room on their blog! See the post here under "kids room tours". Still can't believe it! What a great way to express joy and hope as we start the week! Our friends at SCOUT PHOTO did an amazing job capturing the space!

THIS IS HARD

2011-08-26T08:31:00.000-07:00

Up until a few weeks ago, I would have said that the adoption process really wasn't that bad. The wait was hard, but we were prepared for that. Every once in a while we would hear something scary, but it would soon be cleared up. Everything had sort of gone as expected until yesterday...

After we passed court we were told to expect to wait 4-6 weeks to travel.... well 4 weeks came and went and we hadn't even been submitted to the Embassy! I was starting to feel so anxious and and angry and I didn't know what I would do if we went another week without being submitted!!! I would lose my mind! Well, yesterday the rest of the families were submitted and for reasons I don't totally understand our case was sent back.

I took the day off and Aaron and I just crawled into bed and pouted and snuggled and prayed. This morning I really felt better. I was hopeful. I focused on hearing positive news today while keeping my "worst case scenario" at a comfortable distance. Unfortunately, I found out today that my "worst case scenario" might actually be my best case scenario. It's crazy how things can change in one day!

Our agency sent us an update today. Here's part of it...

" ...the best thing for us to do is to take your adoption decree back to the courts next week and ask the registrar to fix the decree to say "...private information..." This is the way the courts have written decrees for other families in the past in similar situations and it sounds like this is exactly what the Embassy wants it to say. I do not know why the courts changed their wording on the decrees and it is more than unfortunate to have this wording holding up your submission to the Embassy. I think that this is a good idea to just ask them to correct it. She said she hopes the registrar can fix the decree without the judge being present; otherwise there it would have to wait until after the courts re-open. Have your prayer team pray specifically that this can be rewritten without the judge.

Let’s keep the prayers coming! God is in the business of miracles and he can both move this out of the way and bring peace beyond all understanding to you in this time!"

First of all, how amazing is Ashley from our agency... I really love her. This news was not necessarily the news I was hoping for, but so many people have been praying. The things that are holding this up seem so trivial... it almost gives me more hope that God is all over this. Surely He could have overcome this if He wanted to and with so many people praying I just feel like there's got to be some reason for this hold up.

A friend asked me how I was feeling today... I said, "mad, helpless, sad, anxious, stupid, desperate" I'm feeling all of those things, but I'm also trusting in God and remembering that Arthur is His child and He knows how the rest of this is going to go. I am holding onto my dream and feeling so lucky that I get to be a part of this amazing story.

Thank you so much for your prayers and tremendous support!! We really need you guys right now.

Pouting on the porch... I like how you can see my Arthur ring even in this dark picture.

CRANKY!

2011-08-24T10:50:00.000-07:00

Today marks five weeks of waiting since we passed court and nine weeks of waiting since we met our sweet boy. NINE WEEKS! That sixty-three days! Two months of growth and development we've missed out on.

I'm trying to be careful and really think about what I say and what I post on facebook. In the past 24 hours I have posted and deleted two different comments! ha! I don't want to be negative or complainy... I'm just SO CRANKY.

One of the comments was about maternity leave. It's been a frustrating topic since day one. Frustrating and just so complicated it's hard to even explain. In my personal opinion, every mama, adoptive or not should get six months paid maternity leave with their child. Sound good?

When I step back and take a deep breath I can see clearly how lucky I am...

I work for a company who offers adoption assistance! wow!

I have a husband with a very flexible schedule (allowing him to watch Arthur when I go back to work)

I have a debt free life (if you don't count our house and one car)

A debt free adoption (with help from all of you lovely people)

Oh! and the most beautiful son in the whole world. I'm going to stop complaining now.

Hoping to share good news soon!

KIDS JAMBO

2011-08-23T06:55:00.000-07:00

How stinkin' cute are these little ones in their JAMBO shirts!!! Thank you, friends, for the pictures!! Makes me smile :)

UPDATE

2011-08-22T07:22:00.000-07:00

I know you've all been wondering... "why is this taking so long" and "when are you going back??" These are the things we wonder EVERY DAY! I feel the need to explain a little bit about what's going on right now. You all know we passed court on July 20th. Here is a list of things that have to happen before we can go get him...

1. The adoption decree is written by the judge naming the adoptive parents as the legal parents of the child. DONE

2. The child's birth certificate is filed for DONE

3. The child is taken to have photo taken for passport. Passport is created. DONE

4. Child has visa medical exam. DONE

5. All documents (along with any supporting documents) are submitted to the US Embassy in order for a visa interview to be scheduled. NOT DONE

There are twelve different families from CHI who sort of went through all of these steps together. Last thursday the staff in Ethiopia gathered all the documents for these twelve cases and took them over to the US Embassy to be submitted and something really stupid happened.... they turned them away. Apparently it was too late in the afternoon, even though they went around the same time they had gone previously. From what I understand the staff pleaded and did everything they could it was just not going to happen. The thing that really bums me out about this happening is that Thursday is the only day that cases can be submitted to the US Embassy, so we have to wait a whole week to try again! BOO!!

After our case is finally submitted, we will start receiving emails from the Embassy regarding the progress of our case. It's not uncommon for the Embassy to request additional documents or interviews with the birth parents. From what I understand, it typically takes a week or two to be cleared. Once you get clearance from the Embassy your visa appointment is scheduled and it's possible that you could travel that same week!!

So, yes, this is taking a little longer than we expected, but if all goes smoothly from here on out, we could be traveling in mid September.

OK! OK! THE CRAZY WEEKEND...

2011-08-18T06:29:00.000-07:00

So, the weekend in Lubbock was filled with great times with family, sad times with family, busyness and just a lot of little obstacles Aaron and I had to face together. But, the craziest thing that happened was on the drive home. When we got to Perry, Oklahoma we drove right into a dark and very scary storm. We decided to pull over so Aaron could drive. I was scared! We were under an overpass about to switch drivers when 90 mph winds threw gravel and rain at our back window, shattering it and breaking it in. The rocks continued to fly into the car breaking our side mirrors and rearview mirror (yes! the rearview mirror INSIDE THE CAR!) The dogs were with us. Poor Peaman was so scared he threw up and I somehow managed to catch it in a towel. Does that mean I'm ready to be a mom?

Here are some pictures of the damage.

And this, Ladies and Gentleman is why we have insurance!

MORE PICTURES

2011-08-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

I started to write about my crazy weekend and then thought... you guys probably don't care... you probably just want to see more pictures of Arthur. How about these?

Theses are pictures of Arthur pretty soon after he was placed in the orphanage (I'm guessing). We're really lucky to have these pictures. A travel buddy just happened to have them after she requested photos from Numan orphanage. She recognized Arthur and sent them to us! Little bitty baby Arthur... so sweet!

WOW! IT HAS BEEN A CRAZY COUPLE OF WEEKS

2011-08-15T08:51:00.000-07:00

I want to tell you all about it, but while I recount and gather all the pictures I will leave you with this sweet message I received this morning.

I have the best friends!! Thank you Leslie for sharing! This is just the sweetest!

TODAY ARTHUR IS 8 MONTHS OLD!

2011-08-01T07:51:00.000-07:00

It's been about six weeks since we were in Ethiopia meeting our boy. When we left we talked about what he might be doing when we saw him next. It was hard to think about the things we might miss, but knew it was good for him to grow!

A sweet family from CHI was kind enough to take pictures for us while they were at House of Hope meeting their little girl last week. While it was sort of sad to see the pictures and learn how's he's changed, I am SO PROUD of this boy! Look what he's doing!!

And look at all that hair!!

So ready to go and get that boy!

THE NEW SHIRTS ARE IN!!

2011-07-29T08:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I came home to find a big box of Love it Waiting shirts! They look great! If you ordered one, they are on their way! Unfortunately there is a bit of a delay on the JAMBO tees, but hopefully the store will be stocked up again soon! Stay tuned for another exciting update on the store! (hint: there might be some new designs added to support other families)

REFERRAL PICTURES

2011-07-28T08:34:00.000-07:00

These are the very first pictures we got of Arthur! I think he was about 4 months old here. It's kind of sad for me to think about how much time we've missed with him. You know the mom conversation where the soon to be mom is almost scolded for sleeping in? You know the comments like

"You just wait!"

"You better get your sleep now because..."

Yeah, I'm sort of tired of these comments. For a lot of reasons, but mainly because I would have LOVED to be the one to get up in the middle of the night with Arthur during those tender, newborn weeks. Don't get me wrong, I am all about people telling it like it is! I'm not into sugar-coating life struggles. I just feel like sometimes the way mothers give advice feels like a threat! For a mom-to-be filled with insecurity, the last thing I want to feel is threatened. I want you to tell me the truth, but I also want to be encouraged that I can do this.

Please know that I love you all, little mommy friends! I just thought I would share a little bit about what it feels like to be a mom who has missed the first 8 months of Arthur's little life.

Wow! I did not see this post going here when I started writing today, but there you have it!

TEXT MESSAGE FROM A DEAR FRIEND

2011-07-25T12:10:00.000-07:00

"I have had you on my heart so much lately *tears* - I just want you

to know that you are going to be such a radiant and amazing mama.

And Aaron is like a dream dad! In these weeks that you wait

to get Arthur, know that I am praying over him every day

and that I am praying for you and Aaron also - that God would help

this time to go so quickly, that He would surround you with

legions of Angels on your trip there and back and that your transition

to parenthood would be the most precious time you've ever experienced.

Arthur is amazingly adorable, and I can't wait to meet him!!"

Just feeling so lucky to be surrounded by such great friends! Thank you, Shanda!

HALLMARK BABY SHOWER

2011-07-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

Last week my sweet friends at work threw me a baby shower! Wow!!!! It really blew me away! These people are so thoughtful and talented. It was just perfect! And of course... no diaper cake in sight! ;)

The spread... so cute!!

The invite!

Onesies and table decorations! See... so thoughtful! If you look close you

can see how each onesie has a special connection to our story.

#1 Carry me Home Art Print

#2 Cowboy boot because we are from Texas

#3 Our dogs!

#4 Manbear

#5 Little Bumblebee

The humor! Thanks, Sam!

The handmade! Love the simplicity of this :)

Handmade by Sandi

And finally the quiz. All the questions came from the blog! So fun!

A MILLION thank you's to all my fellow Hallmarkers!

ROCKER REFINISHED

2011-07-22T06:18:00.000-07:00

Remember this post? Well, the dang thing is finally finished! I picked it up this week! It is absolutely perfect! Paseo Upholstery did a great job fixing it up! The nursery feels a little more complete. More pics of his room coming soon!

MY "BIRTH" STORY

2011-07-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

I've been so excited to share this, but couldn't until we passed court. It starts on the morning of December 1st... about 7 months ago. I woke up and felt my insides aching and remembered a dream I had that night. I woke Aaron up and told him all about how I dreamt Arthur was born. It was honestly kind of strange... the way dreams usually are, but I couldn't help but wonder if Arthur actually was born that day all the way across the world!

When I got to work I told our social worker all about it on gchat. She said "Oh my gosh, Heather! It's totally possible that he was born today! I've heard of that happening a lot! You should write it down!" So, I did. I wrote it down right here on this blog.

A couple months later things got kind of crazy with the news that Ethiopia would cut inter-country adoptions by 90 percent! This news was heartbreaking! I pushed through and tried to stay positive, and really made myself crazy trying to figure out what God was doing through all of this. It just didn't make sense to me. I remembered the dream I had and decided to look on the Waiting Child List. (a list of mostly healthy children who are a little older and are waiting to be adopted). I thought... I wonder if there's a boy on the list with the December 1st birthday. I mean... what are the chances? There were only about 20 kids on the list at the time. As I scrolled down I felt the chills run across my skin as I saw a boy, born on December 1st! He was so beautiful, he seemed to have such a sweet spirit... he was TEN!

"Ten?! Hmm... I just don't know about that. Aaron's going to think that I'm nuts!" I felt nuts, but when I told Aaron about it, I was kind of surprised by his response. He, too felt that the birthday was significant and thought it was something we needed to pay attention to. He said "I just don't feel right saying, 'Yes, Lord we want to care for orphans, but not a ten-year-old,' Let's pray about it." So, we prayed about it. We asked our family to pray about it. I kept remembering things I had learned from an adoption conference I had attended a few months before. Learning more about orphan care actually created a lot of doubt in my mind about our decision to adopt a baby internationally. And the news of the slow down made me fear we were just adding to the "baby business".

We eventually decided that this little ten-year-old was not our child. Which was kind of tough for me. I had been staring at his photo and daydreaming about our family. I just felt connected to him because of that birthday! Pretty soon after that, things started picking up and referrals started pouring in! I started to get excited again about a baby. The baby God had for us.

Within a couple weeks we had moved all the way up on the wait list and Ashley (our consultant) called us with the news of our son! She had both of us on the line...

ASHLEY: "Ok guys, are you ready to hear about your son?"

AARON: "Yes!"

ME: "I think so..."

ASHLEY: "Ok, I'm probably going to mess up his name. I haven't heard this name before. His name is Fuad Amina"

AARON: "ok..."

ME: an echoing, "ok..."

ASHLEY: "He was born on December 1st... Heather, are you still breathing?" (She knew about the dream too)

ME: "OH MY GOSH!"

AARON: an echoing, "OH MY GOSH!"

The rest of the conversation was such a blur! I just felt paralyzed by the power of what the Lord had done. So overwhelmed by how big He is!! I mean, I felt my son being born all the way across the world! What a beautiful gift for us. For me. For Arthur. All of my doubts and insecurities vanished that day. This is our son!

WE WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO OUR SON!

2011-07-20T07:58:00.000-07:00

Our consultant called this morning with the news that the letter came and we passed court! He is officially ours! 4-6 weeks from now we will be going to get him!!

20 THINGS ADOPTIVE KIDS WISH THEIR ADOPTIVE PARENTS KNEW

2011-07-19T20:16:00.000-07:00

First, let's just get it out there... yes, it's been 18 business days and still no letter :( Yes, this has been difficult to handle. The other families and I are really hoping that tomorrow is the day! (The day we get news of the letter and pass court and Arthur is ours)

In the mean time I have been blessed by friends throwing me showers :)

One of our dear friends gave us the book, "Twenty Things Adoptive Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew". It's a book that a lot of you adoptive parents out there have already read or heard about. It's seems to be filled with a lot of truths that make you go... "ouch" take a few deep breaths. Aaron and I read through the chapter titles and to be honest, a lot of them kind of kicked our butts. I'm excited to read through the book with Aaron and maybe gain a new perspective. Here are the chapter titles. I'd love to hear from some of you who have already read the book. What did you think?

1. "I suffered a profound loss before I was adopted. You are not responsible."

2. "I need to be taught that I have special needs arising from adoption loss, of which I need not be ashamed."

3. "If I don't grieve my loss, my ability to receive love from you and others will be hindered."

4. "My unresolved grief may surface in anger towards you."

5. "I need your help in grieving my loss. Teach me how to get in touch with my feelings about my adoption and then validate them."

6. "Just because I don't talk about my birth family doesn't mean I don't think about them."

7. "I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family."

8. "I need to know the truth about my conception, birth, and family history, no matter how painful the details may be."

9. "I am afraid I was 'given away' by my birth mother because I was a bad baby. I need you to help me dump my toxic shame."

10. "I am afraid you will abandon me."

11. "I may appear more 'whole' than I actually am. I need your help to uncover the parts of myself that I keep hidden so I integrate all the elements of my identity.

12. "I need to gain a sense of personal power."

13. "Please don't say I look or act just like you. I need you to acknowledge and celebrate our differences."

14. "Let me be my own person...But don't let me cut myself off from you."

15. "Please respect my privacy regarding adoption. Don't tell other people without my consent."

16. "Birthdays may be difficult for me."

17. "Not knowing my full medical history can be distressing at times."

18. "I am afraid I will be too much for you to handle."

19. "When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me, and respond wisely."

20. "Even if I decide to search out my birth family, I will always want you to be my parents."

SO... WHAT'S HE LIKE?

2011-07-12T08:15:00.001-07:00

Before we left for Ethiopia we prayed that God would give Arthur visions of our faces so that when he saw us he might recognize us and give us a big smile! Ha! yes, we prayed for a smile. In his referral picture he's smiling so big, so we thought that maybe this wasn't too much to ask. ...that DID NOT HAPPEN! We worked so hard to get that boy to smile that first day and he just did not find us amusing. ha!

He did, however, think that his nurses at the House of Hope were the funniest people on the planet! It was really fun to see him interact with them. It was obvious he had a connection with them. And while you would think that might make me feel a little jealous, it didn't. It made me feel so good about where he was. It so good for him that the people caring for him make him happy! (especially since he's going to be there for a couple more months... boo!)

We got to spend three days with Arthur and he seemed to warm up to us a little more each day. I think we may have even gotten a couple smiles that last day. For the most part, he seems to be a very relaxed, reserved and very inquisitive baby boy. I would guess that he is more on the thoughtful, sensitive side with a HUGE heart (which is cool because his given name means "heart"). Compared to the other baby boys in the room, he just didn't have that "boy" attitude. (meaning rambunctious and destructive and always moving) I know this might be hard to gather from a baby in three days but that is our perception of him so far. Who knows... we could meet a totally different boy in a couple months ;)

It's funny how sometimes we will ask the Lord for things, only to find that He had a better idea. I would be lying if I said we weren't a little disappointed that we didn't get our smile. But as we were leaving, Aaron and I were talking about how cool it is that we are going to have to work for that smile and that one day, we will be the "special ones". The ones he has bonded to and everyone else will have to work for smiles. Building that bond might take a little longer than we thought, but I think it will be a much deeper bond in the end.

Basically, he's perfect! SO perfect for us!

MEETING ARTHUR

2011-07-12T07:18:00.001-07:00

OUR FIRST FAMILY PHOTO

I love how our hands are all intertwined :)

So, what was it like meeting my son for the first time? I've been wanting to write about this, but I just don't know if I can craft the words in a way that really gives that moment justice. I hardly even know where to start.

How about we back up to April 5, when we received THE phone call from our consultant. That day, we got to hear a little bit about our son. It wasn't a lot of information, but there were some details (details that I cannot wait to share) that created a pretty intense connection between me and my boy. God just made it VERY obvious that this was my son and I was meant to be his mama! Aaron and I spent the next three months gazing at the only two pictures we had, noticing every little detail. And, yes, sometimes we held the photo kissed his little two dimensional face.

We received news of our court date on May 20th and had 4 weeks to prepare for our trip. I was nervous! My stomach did a flip every time I thought about meeting Arthur. What would he think of us? What if he didn't respond well to us? What if our white faces and huge glasses scared him? What if he cried and I couldn't console him? What if he liked Aaron more than me? What if we found out he was sick and we had to leave him?

Fast forward to the day we are in Ethiopia about to meet Arthur. We were still nervous, but really more excited than anything! By that time I was just ready to hold him and kiss him, crying or not! We were in a room with two other families who were about to meet their sons for the first time too! The nurses came in and asked the names of our babies so that they could go and get them ready for us. One by one, they brought the babies in. We watched (and filmed and photographed) as the two other families met their boys and then waited patiently (me more patient than Aaron) by the door for Arthur. The nurse walked up to the room carrying Arthur and sweetly kissed him before handing him to Aaron. His eyes fixed on Aaron's face and he touched his face so sweetly and gently almost like he was greeting him in some way. (or maybe he just wanted to put those glasses in his mouth). I stole him away from Aaron pretty quickly and he touched my face the same way he touched Aaron's. He took turns staring at the two of us! It was such an incredible moment! There was an instant connection that I can't explain. All of our insecurities about being parents vanished and in that moment I became a mom and Aaron became a dad!

I actually became an aunt that day too, but I'll tell you more about that later ;)

GIVEAWAY WINNERS

2011-07-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who entered! (So, maybe I only had 7 entries... and maybe I just gave everyone a print) It's so great to hear more about you and I definitely have some more stories to follow. I hope everyone enjoys their prize!

I ended up sending 7 prints to 7 different states! How cool is that?!

Missouri, Kansas, North Carolina, Indiana, Texas, Montana and California

Oh, and I guess the point of a giveaway is usually to promote a product and I totally forgot to do that. oops... so if you didn't enter and you still want a print you can find them in my shop. Only $15! :)

THANK YOU!! AND A GIVEAWAY

2011-07-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

We are nearing the end of this process and about to begin a new chapter with our boy forever in our arms. I've spent a lot of time the past few weeks thinking about all the people who have reached out to us... with prayers, encouragement, gifts, time. The list goes on. I want you all to know how much we needed all of that and how much we appreciate you! It's been a long road. Beautiful and also very tough at times and I'm so thankful we didn't have to walk it alone.

Now for the giveaway...

If you are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia and you think this 8x10 signed screen print is awesome (and you don't already have it) you should enter to win! Here's how... It's really simple.

Email me at mrs.heatherhale@gmail.com and tell me:

- who you are

- where you are from

- what led you to adoption

- where you are in the process

- how I can pray for you

First 5 people to email me answering all 5 questions will win! My little way of saying thank you!

TIMELINE

2011-07-05T09:38:00.000-07:00

The most popular question I get now is "So, when do you get to go back?" I don't mind people asking this question... it's just sort of frustrating and painful to have to say "I don't know" I hate it! Now that we've met him it's harder to deal with the uncertainty. If you're a visual person like me, this calendar will help you comprehend the wait that is before us.

Here is what I'm hoping for...

July 15th we will get word that our MOWA letter is in and the adoption is final! That day we will be able to announce to the world that he is officially ours and you will see many pictures of his beautiful face.

August 19th, approximately 5 weeks later, we will be on a plane headed back to Ethiopia to get that baby boy and bring him home! I really hope this is what happens!!!

FRIENDS IN THE PROCESS OF ADOPTING FROM ETHIOPIA... WATCH FOR

A GIVEAWAY HAPPENING ON THE BLOG TOMORROW. YOU WILL

HAVE TO BE QUICK TO WIN THIS ONE!

AND WE'RE BACK TO THIS...

2011-07-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

We used this paper chain to track the wait for our referral. We actually didn't get through the whole thing, so I thought I would use the rest to track the wait for our MOWA letter. I'm realizing that when they said 15-20 days, they meant business days, and that translates into 3 weeks, which sounds so much worse than 15 days! Am I right?? The good news is it's been 6 days (business days!) since we went to court. Two more weeks and he'll be all ours! There were a few families from our agency who went to court 3 weeks ago. I'm hoping we will hear soon that they got their letters!

Really cannot wait to show you this sweet bundle! He's just the best!

STILL PROCESSING

2011-06-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

We captured a lot of video while we were in Ethiopia and it's hard to really grasp (even just days later) what we just experienced. I'll watch the videos over and over and think "whoa... we really did that!" People ask how we're doing and if this part is hard or if we feel different now having met him. It's honestly hard to even answer just yet. I think we're still processing.

The first couple days we were back, Aaron and I were butting heads like crazy and after some thought, I kind of wondered if we were maybe just missing our son and trying to figure out how to deal with this whole thing. I remembered how different Aaron and I are when it comes to handling things that are tough. I tend to put up a wall, push through, act strong and stay busy. Which really is not the healthiest thing and is sort of the easy way out. Aaron on the other hand is completely ok with feeling everything, expressing his hurt and working his way through it. This is one of the things that made me fall in love with him. Fearless vulnerability! It is such a beautiful thing.

I'm thinking communication is going to be very important while we wait to bring Arthur home. We've got to respect each others process (right or wrong) and stay strong as a team! It wont be long!!

JUST MOMENTS BEFORE MEETING OUR SON

2011-06-27T13:37:00.000-07:00

We can't wait to show you video and pictures of our beautiful boy, but little teasers like this one will have to do for the next couple of weeks.

HERE WE ARE!

2011-06-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

Here we are at Ethiopia Guest House, right before our court appointment.

We had an amazing week!! The guest house was so beautiful and a couple of the other families from CHI were staying there. It was really great to spend the week with other families who were going through the same thing. There were four families total that had the same court date and we all have boys just a few months apart. I think we will all try to keep in touch and hope to travel together again for our second trip.

Court was a piece of cake. We all went in together. We handed over our passports, then the judge (a beautiful young woman) asked four or five questions. We all answered in unison, "yes". And that was it! She told us that the MOWA is 15-20 days behind on their letters, so we did not pass that day. We are glad to have a rough timeline. We are just hoping to get our letters before the courts close for the rainy season... around August 8th? Kind of cutting it close, but I really think we'll make it.

Meeting our son was an incredible experience. I thought it would be awkward and unnatural since we've never been parents before, but as soon as they handed him over it just felt right. He is so beautiful and his personality is just so perfect for us. He's going to be a great addition to the Hale household.

Thank you again for your support. We miss our boy so much, but we are excited to get back home to all our friends and family.

Oh... and we got incredible video of us meeting him for the first time. Can't wait to share!!!!!

A WORD ABOUT THE PAPA

2011-06-19T11:22:00.000-07:00

This man is my best friend and there couldn't be a more perfect match for me. He loves me so well. He's gentle and kind and oh so patient with me. I have never doubted his love for me. He inspires me and makes me a better person. He has one of the biggest hearts I've ever known. He led me to Africa when we were dating and he's leading me to Africa again to meet our son.

Arthur,

Your Papa loves you like you wouldn't believe! He has prayed over you and cried with joy and sorrow over your little heart. I cannot wait to see you two together! We will be there so soon with lots of kisses and hugs. Can't wait!

Don't forget to vote today... I've moved all the way up to 29, thanks to you guys. Almost there!

LAST DAY IN THE OFFICE BEFORE WE LEAVE!

2011-06-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

(I know, people keep telling me he looks a lot like Tom Selleck... weird.)

THIS IS WHERE I SWALLOW MY PRIDE AND BEG...

2011-06-16T07:52:00.000-07:00

You guys have been amazing and I moved up to number 42! In 4-ish days! I think that's pretty good! I normally don't do this kind of thing, but this just sort of happened and I'm getting kind of excited about it. It would be really cool to be in this Top 25 list and reach a new group! The timing couldn't be more perfect because "love is waiting" is about to get a lot more interesting since

WE LEAVE ON MONDAY TO GO MEET ARTHUR!!!!!!!!

Can you believe it? Monday we will get on a plane and travel to meet our baby! We have been looking forward to this day for almost 2 years and now it's almost here. We want to try to document this trip and share as much as we can here on the blog. Check in for our video blog series to begin. Not exactly sure what this will look like or how good out internet connection will be, but we want to share these moments with you.

Oh yeah... back to the voting... voting ends June 21st. Please spread the word and vote every day if you can!

BACK IN BUSINESS!

2011-06-11T16:33:00.000-07:00

Due to popular demand... and very expensive plane tickets, I have re-stocked the store!! I am so excited for you to see the new items in the store. (Please be patient with me as I drag you through another pre-order. I am planning to ship the shirts July 18th.)

BABY JAMBO!! (yeah... I went there. Could you die?) I know you have

a baby or know someone who has a baby. Go get one of these right now!

Also the adult size JAMBO shirt is back and fully stocked for your

shopping convenience. With enough mediums to clothe the planet!!

And finally, the Love is Waiting shirt on the Eco-Heather V-Neck,

because everyone knows this is the best fitting shirt money can buy!

FRANKFURT

2011-06-08T09:52:00.000-07:00

A while back Aaron and I talked about how we wanted to schedule a stopover on the way to/from Ethiopia. Depending on what airline you use, your layover could be Paris, Amsterdam, Istanbul, Frankfurt and some other neat places I'm forgetting. We didn't really have a preference and we left it up the travel agent. The best deal he could find for us was a stopover in Frankfurt. How cool is that?! We have a good 24 hours to spend there and I have NO IDEA what we are going to do. Sometimes Aaron and I do better without an itinerary. One last adventure. Just the two of us. In Frankfurt. I LOVE IT!

DREAM NUMBER THREE

2011-06-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

With the amount of time I spend thinking about this boy, you'd think I would have more dreams about him. I'm afraid it's true... only 3 dreams in 16 months.

The most recent dream happened last week. It was really fun but kind of short... Aaron and I were in Ethiopia meeting Arthur for the first time and all I really remember is that as soon as that sweet baby caught a glimpse of Aaron he smiled SO BIG... almost like he already knew Aaron. I have to admit, I was a little jealous when I woke up, but I was excited to tell Aaron.

Since that dream I have been praying that God would give Arthur visions of our faces, so that maybe when he does see us, he's not freaked out and might even recognize us... might even give us a BIG SMILE!

Crazier things have happened ;)

SO STINKIN' CUTE!!

2011-06-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Aaron and I have been pretty disciplined when it comes to buying clothes for Arthur. We knew we just had to be patient. Even after we received our referral, we had no idea when he would be coming home. Even now we don't know how big he'll be, but we know how old he is! AND we know he'll be home in just a couple months! This week we gave ourselves permission to go get a few things. Maybe it's weird but I kind of just want to dress him like a grown man and skip on the cartoon critters. We found some really cute things at Old Navy and Target, but we're really excited to get our hands on some baby boy clothes from ZARA! Here's a little outfit I put together...

I mean seriously cute stuff, right?

MORE CUTE TEES

2011-05-31T18:46:00.000-07:00

...designed by yours truly ;)

Here's the deal guys, my friend Rachel needs to sell about 15 more shirts before she can pay for her order! All the proceeds will be going to fund her adoption. I just know we can help her meet this goal! Go buy one in her etsy shop now!!

WE'RE GOING TO ETHIOPIA IN A MONTH!

2011-05-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

Friday we received a call from Ashley with news of our court date! We will be headed to House of Hope in beautiful Addis Ababa June 22nd! Arthur was just transferred to House of Hope today! We're anxiously waiting to hear back from our travel agent with itinerary options. So excited, nervous, overwhelmed and thankful for what is about to happen.

WE'RE SO CLOSE!

2011-05-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

First off, what do you think of the new digs?? Pretty schnazzy, huh? After a photo shoot with Scout Photo I was inspired to create a new look. It actually felt really good to take the other header down. Even though those kiddos are super cute, we have our very own now! Also... I have to tell you something... Those kids aren't even Ethiopian, they're Haitian. Anyway, hopefully soon I'll get to share Arthur's picture. We got another email from our consultant yesterday and she said that we are next in line to get a court date. Based on the other families dates, we will likely be in Ethiopia the first week of July! AH! It's so crazy that just last week, we thought we probably would be able to bring our boy home for another 6 months or longer and now it's possible he'll be home in August! what? Just so you know... none of this really makes sense with the news we heard a few months back, but I don't really care. I'm just going with it!

and here's another picture... just because.

HEY, LOOK!

2011-05-17T07:22:00.001-07:00

The JAMBO shirt made it's way to Tanzania this week. This is so special to me because this is the place that inspired the shirt! Aaron's mom and sister are there for a couple weeks with Omega. And yes, that's Aaron's mom in the picture, not his sister. so pretty :)

GOOD NEWS!!!

2011-05-16T13:24:00.001-07:00

By now you know that this process is sort of a roller coaster and very unpredictable. This might be why I don't react too quickly to news, well at least bad news. I've been able to remain hopeful when things don't look that great. I credit that mostly to your support and prayers over us... thank you!

Ok, the good news... you ready?

Today court dates were given to three families. These families received their referrals just a week before we received our referral. They travel to Ethiopia in three weeks!

We could be meeting this boy very soon, people!

THANKFUL FOR THESE WISE WOMEN

2011-05-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

Just in case you didn't read the comments on the blog post a couple weeks ago I thought I would highlight them and just tell you guys how much these words have helped me!

"it's heart wrenching... i'm so sorry. our wait after getting photos was six long months and it was so hard. take good care of yourself... do your favorite things whether they be bubble baths, coffee treats, losing yourself in a good book, or lots of ice cream. just be extra gentle with yourself during this time... don't focus on what your missing, but imagine all the beautiful memories you'll make once he's home. praying this time moves quickly and he's in your arms very, very soon!"

-Kristin

"I still remember so well what it was like those days before we were able to get to Zinashi, especially the time while we were waiting for a court date. It was hard, hard, hard. I distinctly remember putting my head down on the desk at work and asking any saint who would listen to pray to God on Zinashi's behalf and ours. I was all out of words; I couldn't do it anymore. I just felt so lost. Up to that point, there were things I could do to participate in the process, but suddenly there was nothing to do but wait. It's a rough time, and like Kristin said, you should do your favorite things now, whatever they are. Admittedly, I took a LOT of naps. It's pleasant and it passes the time!

In the end, when you hold Arthur in your arms, it won't matter anymore how long you waited. You will remember how hard it was to wait, but it won't matter. You can hold on to that. The day is coming, and each day brings you closer. You will hold your son in your arms, and everything else will fade away. You'll get there. Take a deep breath. We are praying for you."

- Mary

The first two weeks after receiving our referral were so tough... almost unbearable, I didn't know how I would ever get through this long wait. I wanted so badly to put all of my energy into staying connected to him while we were apart thinking that it would some how keep us together and we wouldn't lose any time. After reading these two comments I'm wondering if that's the best use of my time. We have no idea how long this wait will be and while it feels selfish, we just have to keep living our lives. In a lot of ways (mostly budget and thought) we have sort of rearranged our life to accommodate this baby. In a lot of ways this was necessary, but I really think that in the coming months it's going to be important for us to take opportunities as they come... maybe even cheat on the budget! I don't want to put our life on hold. I don't want to look back on this time and have regrets about things we didn't do.

Mary and Kristin, thank you so much for your sweet words!

ON A LIGHTER NOTE...

2011-04-28T07:41:00.000-07:00

Jazzercise was a blast! We had an amazing turn out! These are the brave souls who were willing to take a sweaty pic with me AFTER the class... I didn't really think that through. It meant so much to me that all these women were willing to take time out of their week to come and embarrass themselves and help bring our boy home. The drawing happens at the end of the month. I will let you know as soon as I hear! Thanks to all who came!!!!

WHAT TO EXPECT

2011-04-27T14:13:00.000-07:00

I asked for this book for Christmas. I knew that we would miss the first several months of this boys life, but I thought it would be fun to read about his development and just learn what I can about babies, since you know... I've never had one. Last night, before bed I was thinking about our Arthur and wondering what he was doing just like I do every night. I looked over at this book and got excited to open it to the learn about what it says about his age. NOT a good idea! What was I thinking? It's hard enough missing out on his life without knowing every little detail. I've decided. I don't want to know. At least not right now. It hurts too bad.

I thought I would speak a little more about how hard this is right now. Adoptive parents, please chime in if you feel so led. So, here's the situation. I'm a mom. I have a son. We don't have a court date and he's not legally ours, but there is a little boy out there named Arthur and he's my son. Nothing could have prepared me for what I felt the day we got our call. No one could have explained the connection I feel to him and if they tried I wouldn't have believed them. So, how does it feel to have a son you can't touch, or comfort, or cuddle or know? IT SUCKS!! It's the hardest thing I've done and we're only in the first month! I know he's fine! I believe he's happy and healthy and loved, I just miss him. Any ideas about ways to make this wait a little less painful?

MORE NEW FRIENDS!!

2011-04-25T11:16:00.001-07:00

Gosh! I just feel so blessed to have met so many amazing people through this process! I've recently been able to spend a little more time with my new friend Rachel, some of you may have met her at Jazzercise (which, by the way, was a blast!) Rachel and her husband, Landon have a beautiful baby girl who just turned one and started the process to adopt their second about 4 months ago. To help pay for their adoption, Rachel has opened up an etsy store with some very cool vintage and hand-crafted things! Go take a look! Read more about their story here.

NUMBERS

2011-04-18T15:29:00.000-07:00

For all of you who have so faithfully supported us, I am very pleased to announce...

WE DID IT!

Wow! That's a grand total of $15,929 so far! And we've done it without a single loan or credit card.

You played a big part in this! THANK YOU!

...and here's what we have left.

I'm honestly not too worried ;) God is so good!

ARTHUR

2011-04-15T11:36:00.000-07:00

I just have to point out something really silly. The week we got the call about our Arthur was the same week this movie came out. And, yes I did go out and see it, I mean how could I not? I actually got to go to Lubbock last weekend and seeing this movie was the perfect way to celebrate the week... even though I'm the only one who liked it. It definitely wasn't as good as the original, but Russell Brand did a pretty good job. Oh! and on the same day we got "the call" Arthur's theme song was released on itunes... go have a listen.

While we're on the subject of the name Arthur, I want to share a little something. Aaron and I LOVE this name and have loved it for a long time. It has been really good to have a name in place from the beginning. Calling him by name just feels good and I think it helped our family connect to him pretty early on. I probably don't speak for Aaron as much when I say that we were open to the idea of calling him by his given name. I just thought that if we heard his name and it was followed by this magical moment where we thought, "wow, that's beautiful and that's what we want to call him", we would keep Arthur as his middle name and call him by his given name. Well... that did not happen! While we love his given name and have so much respect for his family and culture, we just know that this little boy's name is Arthur.

Also, we've decided that we're going to keep his full given name (first and last) as middle names. Yep! He's going to have 4 names. There's just no way around it. Both of these names are just too important. One day I will be able to tell you the full name! I'm excited for that day!

COME TO JAZZERCISE AND HELP GET ARTHUR HOME!

2011-04-13T11:38:00.000-07:00

My friend, Ashlee at work has been going to Jazzercise and she recently heard about an opportunity to win a $500.00 cash prize. The way it works is... for every person who attends a Jazzercise class, per Ashlee's invitation, she gets another name in the hat. So, we've decided that we're all going to go together on April 21st and you should come too! Ashlee has decided to donate the prize (if she wins) to our adoption fund! Amazing! Thank you so much, Ashlee. So, the more people we can get there, the better chance we have of winning. If you want to come, leave a comment and a way I can contact you.

HERE'S THE DEAL

2011-04-12T19:09:00.000-07:00

Last time I updated you about the potential cut in inter-country adoptions out of Ethiopia, things seemed to be looking up. People making poor decisions were being asked to leave and conversations were happening to come up with the best possible solution for these children. Thursday we received more information. Our agency participated in a stakeholder meeting regarding Ethiopia adoptions with USCIS and the State Department. Here are some of the highlights.

1. USCIS and State support the continuation of the

intercountry adoption program in Ethiopia while also

seeking to address specific problems and concerns.

2. Procedural changes will protect the integrity of the

adoption process while providing better safeguards

for PAP's and children.

3. Adoptive Service Providers need to take more

responsibility for ensuing due diligence and careful

case preparation

4. The US government will continue to refine the

analysis of adoption case information at US Embassy

Addis Ababa as a toll to help guard against unethical

or fraudulent practices.

This is all great news! I'm really proud to be adopting from a country who loves it's children!

Now this is the part that is a little hard to swallow... especially considering we JUST got our referral and the more we look at that sweet face, the harder it is to wait to meet him!

Ready?...

For families who have not received their court date yet,

delays are expected as MOWCYA will begin processing

only 5 cases a day after they complete their review of the

expedited cases. What kind of delay can families expect?

No one knows at this time. CHI will keep all families

informed of the new timelines once we receive court dates

for the next set of families. It will only be at that time that

we will be able to offer our waiting families any indication

on what they can expect to experience. The approval

number has been decreased due to the large number of

cases being presented to the MOWCYA and the lack of

current time/resources to review all of these cases well

with the due diligence that is needed.

A lot of the families waiting for court dates are very hopeful that this will not go into effect. That it wont take long for them to realize that a cut like this will create MANY problems that they don't have the resources to deal with. I'm encouraged by their positive attitudes, but also just trying to keep my eye on the bigger picture. I am all for this kind of change if it's what's best for these kids. I can wait longer to bring my son home if it means that the things that have been overlooked in the past are not overlooked anymore. We want to keep the bad people out and far far away from these children!

Arthur,

We WILL bring you home! We know it will be sweet and magical and perfect. We just don't know when it will be. Keep smiling, little bundle! We love you!

HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED

2011-04-08T09:29:00.000-07:00

I was at work and Aaron was working from home. We were both convinced that we would get the call that week. We couldn't really think about anything else. Aaron texted me a couple times around lunch time to see if I had heard anything... to which I replied "uh... trust me, if I hear something, you'll know!"

It was about 2:00 when Aaron sent me this message on AIM. We literally got the call minutes after he sent that first message. Too funny.

I answered the phone and Ashley already had Aaron on the line. She began to tell us about our boy. His name, his story, his birthday. We were both crying and shaking and so excited! After we got off the phone we received an email with all of his information and a photo.

Aaron came to pick me up from work and we went home to call our family and share the news!

Wednesday morning we contacted a pediatrician who specializes in International Adoption to review his records with us and share any concerns she had. She called us Thursday night and I was very pleased with the amount of information she was able to give us. After talking with her, Aaron gathered the documents necessary to send off and officially accept the referral of this beautiful baby boy.

Now we wait for a court date! It seems that the change I told you guys about a few weeks ago is going to go into effect after all. This might mean that we wont be able to lay eyes on little Arthur for months, but we're so glad to know who he is and we're believing in God's perfect timing.

THE WAIT IS OVER... SORT OF

2011-04-06T06:52:00.000-07:00

We got THE CALL yesterday! Our son is so beautiful! We are rejoicing and at the same time we are saddened to hear his story. Please be patient with us as we cannot share details just yet.

MY DREAM

2011-04-04T18:20:00.000-07:00

Last week Aaron woke me up at 6:00 AM and said,

"Herdle! (as he affectionately calls me) I just had the craziest dream!"

It took me a minute to gather my thoughts, but as soon as I did I thought... "no way! He had a dream about Arthur too!"

He shared his dream with me and I shared mine with him. We talked about how cool it was that we were both dreaming about our boy at the same time.

This is only the second dream I've had about our little one. The first one was the morning of December 1st. I dreamed about his birth and woke up wondering if maybe he really was born that day.

This time we were in a dark garage or warehouse. Looking around the room I saw all of our friends and family excited and ready meet our son. Then I saw Aaron holding little Arthur, making his way to me. I reached out to grab him and brought him close only to discover that he was burning hot with a fever. I looked up and this time saw the faces of scary men all over the room. I turned to Aaron and tried to signal to him that something was wrong and we needed to get out of there ASAP. We started to make our way out and one by one our family and friends fought off these men until we were out the door. safe. and finally a family.

As we get closer to meeting our son we feel the support of our community and know that people are fighting for us and praying for us daily as we walk through this process. Thank you for loving our almost family!

oh! and Friday we moved up another spot! #5... for real this time!

OOPS...

2011-03-31T08:49:00.000-07:00

We got a little ahead of ourselves. Talked to our consultant today and our official number on the list is six! I'm not really sad about that AT ALL, still so close!

Also, my friend Sandi has helped me discover some great numbers on etsy. That's where I will be finding my numbers from now on... so pretty!

HIGH FIVE FOR #5!

2011-03-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

Well, at least that's what we think we are... there are so many things to factor into the count down and sometimes it's hard to know. I think I might double check with our consultant today. Anyway, things are moving fast! and yes, I'm freaking out a little :)

FOUND MY ROCKER!

2011-03-29T19:46:00.000-07:00

Isn't she a beaut?! I know it needs some work, but dream with me. I'm thinking new upholstery in a charcoal grey, a little oil on those legs and this will be the coolest rocker you've ever seen! Found this at a yard sale for a whopping $5 while out treasure hunting with Katie :)

What's your favorite?

THINGS GOT SCARY THERE FOR A WHILE

2011-03-29T19:19:00.000-07:00

I'm just realizing that I let you in on some not-so-great news a few weeks ago and then left you hangin'. It's kind of a lot to explain which is probably why I've waited until now to walk you through it. Here's what happened...

On March 4th, MOWA (Ethiopia’s Ministry of Women’s, Children’s and Youth Affairs) announced that they would be cutting inter-country adoptions by 90%.

What did that mean?? Well, before this announcement MOWA was reviewing around 50 inter-country adoptions a day and they would now only be reviewing 5 a day... pretty drastic cut.

What did that mean for us?? Right now we're waiting for a referral (or to be matched with a baby boy in Ethiopia). After that we're given a court date maybe a few months out from the time of referral. If this actually went into place it would likely take a year or longer just to get a court date... yuck! (but it doesn't slow down the referral process... are you with me?)

Many people felt that this was not in the best interest for these children, so petitions were signed, letters written and many conversations happened around this issue.

By the middle of the month we got news that just days after this was announced, the director of MOWA and several other staff members were terminated. (which seems like good news!)

There hasn't been another official update about where this is all going to end up, but we've been seeing a lot of court dates scheduled, so that's a good sign. Keep praying for these little babes. They're caught up in a huge mess and just need to come home!!

YEP!

2011-03-29T12:59:00.000-07:00

Moved up three more spots! We are getting so close, people!

A LITTLE BALANCE

2011-03-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

Did you see that dark cloud hanging over me all winter? Yuck! I'm so glad the sun is finally out and I can enjoy life again. ...ok, so maybe it wasn't only "winter blues". We've been chipping away at this adoption block for a while now and honestly... I'm tired! This thing has completely consumed me for the past year and I think it's time I gave myself some room.

A while back I had a really good chat with Aaron about how balance in parenting was important to us. We're going to love our kids and we're going to tend to their needs, but we don't want to forget about "us" and we don't want to forget about what our passions were before we had kids! It's so easy to get sucked into this world and this amazing adoption community, but I think I got a little lost and Aaron was kind enough to give me a gentle "nudge". I'm so thankful that I have a partner who's not afraid to call me out ;)

TIME FOR SOME GOOD NEWS!

2011-03-17T12:01:00.000-07:00

Just got word from our agency that FOUR babies were referred today! That moves us up to number 14 on the list! I didn't mention this before, but we were told that part of the hold up was that they ran out of HIV testing kits in Ethiopia. Last week the kits finally came in and they were able to test the babies and prepare them to be matched! I'm still feeling a hodge podge of emotions. I'm ready to get a more final word about where we're going to end up with this change in the system. Keep praying for inter-country adoptions from Ethiopia and that any changes they make to the system will be what's best for the kiddos over there!

FRIDAY UPDATE

2011-03-07T07:33:00.000-08:00

Friday's news came as a shock! Ethiopia announced that they will be cutting foreign adoptions by up to 90 percent. I haven't really been able to think about anything else. My mind just wont let me rest. I run through all the different scenarios given all the possible outcomes. Ha! That will just make you crazy! But, the thing is... I don't feel worried. I'm ready for us to be parents, but right now this isn't about us and our timeline. This is about children who are at risk of falling victim to a corrupt system. The intention of this cut back is to try to solve the problem and a lot of people are worried that this will only create more problems and leave more children left behind without families. Right now we need prayer. Will you join us in prayer as we enter into this season of lent?

HAPPY 3 YEARS!

2011-02-20T16:13:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday Aaron and I celebrated three years of marriage! It was fun for me to look at our life and sum up what I love about our past, what I love now, and what I'm looking forward to. I found the idea for these crafty anniversary things a couple different places. (arrows and notecards)

This week also marks one year into the adoption process... what?? This year has flown! Up until the last few weeks, the waiting hasn't been so bad. We always felt like we were making progress and it was exciting to tell people where we were in our wait. With no real news to report for the last eight weeks it's starting to feel like this is never going to happen. It's such a weird feeling. We just feel really disconnected from the whole process right now.

BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN'S BOOK

2011-02-16T07:47:00.000-08:00

The Boy, the Kite, and the Wind from Improbable Philanthropist on Vimeo.

EIGHTEEN!

2011-02-04T14:40:00.000-08:00

According to this week's update, we've moved up one spot on the list! There hasn't been a ton of movement for the past five weeks so I am thrilled to see this new number :)

WHOA!

2011-02-02T08:18:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I gave you guys an update on our paper chain, but it has definitely been shrinking! I can't believe it's been 18 weeks since we started our wait! There hasn't been a lot of movement this past month, but Aaron and I both believe that we will get our call very soon. Thanks for coming alongside us and supporting as we continue on in this crazy journey :)

THE MISSING PIECE

2011-01-28T05:51:00.000-08:00

Today, I'll be sending you over to Aaron's blog. He is introducing a new fundraiser inspired by James and Emily. I think this is going to be a lot of fun! Go check it out!

RADICAL : DAVID PLATT

2011-01-23T13:01:00.001-08:00

Ordered this book the other day because we're supposed to read it with our youth kids at Colonial this semester. Pretty soon after I ordered the book I noticed that one of the author's sermons was posted on an adoption blog I read. I have to admit that the first time I listened to this guy I didn't really love his style. He's SUPER dramatic! Nevertheless, he has some interesting things to say about adoption and I got more and more excited to read the book, knowing that the author and I had this common ground.

Here's a video of one of David's sermons talking about adoption and infertility. Coincidence? I'm thinking no ;)

Also I'm REALLY LOVING this book. Here are just a few questions I'm asking myself after reading the first chapter. Really hard, really scary questions...

Have we "missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable"?

Are we "settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of the gospel is actually about abandoning ourselves"?

Are we turning Jesus into "a nice, middle-class, American Jesus who doesn't mind materialism... a Jesus who brings us comfort and prosperity as we live out our Christian spin on the American dream"?

Are we "molding Jesus into our image and therefore worshiping ourselves"?

"With the best of intentions... are we actually turning away from Jesus"?

INFERTILITY AND ADOPTION - PART 2: WHAT I'VE LEARNED

2011-01-18T19:35:00.000-08:00

It's very common for couples to choose adoption after struggling with infertility and a lot of people assume that's how Aaron and I came to our decision. I'm not gonna lie, this has led to some awkward conversations. Awkward because I don't want anyone to be embarrassed for getting it wrong. Awkward because I want to be able to relate on the level that maybe I can't. Awkward because sometimes I just don't know what to say, but something I've learned from these conversations is that trying to have biological kids can look a lot like the adoption process.

Around the time Aaron and I announced that we were starting the process to adopt, my brother and sister in law had been trying to have biological kids for over two years with no success and no explanation. When you looked at our lives side by side you would think that we were on opposite ends of the spectrum. You would think it would be hard to find common ground... not the case! Every time we got together to talk "babies" we found that what we were going through was very similar. Considering fertility treatments is controversial, it's invasive and involves a lot of self evaluation... a lot like adoption. We have both had to make very calculated, very tedious steps toward bringing babies into our families and the weight of the process causes you to stop and think. When your body or your application is being evaluated by a stranger to see if you're fit to be a mom it causes you to doubt and when the agency or the doctor can't give you a timeline it makes you CRAZY!! I'm so thankful for the comfort I've found in these chats with my sister in law. At a time when I thought we might clash, we grew close and I learned so much from her!

And I'm very happy to announce that come June I will be an aunt! ...and maybe a mom too ;)

The happy couple

INFERTILITY AND ADOPTION - PART 1: OUR STORY

2011-01-16T11:56:00.000-08:00

This is a topic I have wanted to write about for a long time, but didn't feel comfortable until now. People who know us or people who have asked, know that Aaron and I chose adoption before trying to have biological kids. I believe that when you choose adoption, whether you've struggled with infertility or not, it becomes your plan A. You can't possibly go through with the process if you're not ready to make it your first choice. I didn't feel comfortable sharing this part of our story on the blog because in a way I thought... it shouldn't matter how we came to the decision, but it does matter! Because it's OUR STORY.

How it all began...

I knew adoption was something that Aaron felt really strongly about when we were dating. I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it then because, honestly, I didn't think he was that serious about it. I thought we would get married and then society's handbook of life would take over and I wouldn't have to "worry" about adopting.

After we got married and got closer to starting a family it became clear that this desire was not going to fade. I started to get used the idea and even decided that if we were going to adopt, we should adopt first. I just liked the idea of choosing adoption first. Looking back now, I feel like that was the first step in God aligning our hearts. Even though I was scared about the idea I started daydreaming about our little family, but in the back of my mind I kept hoping that I would accidently get pregnant so that we wouldn't have to go through with it. A couple months later I was late and thought I was pregnant. I thought I would be relieved... excited... but I wasn't! I was disappointed. I felt like our plans to start a family through adoption were ruined. I really surprised myself with the way I felt and it became obvious to me that adoption REALLY was what I wanted! Turns out I wasn't pregnant and we started paperwork pretty soon after that. I believe Aaron and I have been called to adoption. We've come to understand the gospel as our very own adoption story. It was written on our hearts before time began and is such a natural way for us to start our family.

THIS IS THE PART WHERE I FREAK OUT!

2011-01-15T14:24:00.001-08:00

Wow, this is starting to feel real! This is really going to happen and right now I don't really feel ready. I don't even feel like getting ready. Example: I was running errands and a Kid Rock song came on... you know... the one about "drinkin whiskey from the bottle, not thinkin' bout tomorrow" and it just sounded so great! ha! and if you know me, that is SO NOT ME!! It doesn't help that the song is all about summer and we've had snow on the ground for over a week!

I've just had so much on my mind. Taxes, adoption money, the room, our anniversary, just getting to the grocery store. Aaron and I have been sick and even the smallest things seem to be a struggle and I keep thinking about how things are about to get a lot more complicated! I know feeling this way is probably so normal, but wow! I'M GONNA BE A MOM! and I'm kind of scared. So there's that.

In other news, we haven't budged from number 19 in three weeks! Which I guess is ok given my recent fascination with Kid Rock. Don't worry, I'm sure it wont last. ;)

HE CAN DRAW TOO!

2011-01-13T08:15:00.000-08:00

You know those people who just seem to be good at EVERYTHING and every time you turn around they're up to another incredible thing?? Well I'm married to a guy like that and his latest thing is bringing his adorable character creations to the homes of many. He's put together a store where you can purchase his drawings in the form of a t-shirt! I can't wait until this guy is printed and in my closet. Check them out here.

EPIPHANY!

2011-01-11T08:53:00.000-08:00

Every year Devon and Erica (circled in the above picture) host an Epiphany party complete with live music, photo booth, craft station and of course food and drink. It's a time for friends to get together and celebrate, but it's also a time to give back. Devon and Erica choose a cause to give to and this year, they chose to give money toward our adoption! The crazy thing is, the party fell on January 7th, which is the day that they celebrate Christmas in Ethiopia. I can't think of a better way to honor our son on his Christmas. We are truly blessed.

Thank you to everyone who put a little money in our jar!

FREE MUSIC!

2011-01-07T13:03:00.000-08:00

A little while ago I had the opportunity to work with Compassion to put this artwork together. I was so excited because I got to use a photo I took when I was in Africa! I took this photo from the back of the truck as we were leaving Mswakini. All the kids were chasing after us, but not in desperation or sadness. They were so full of hope and joy! A nice change from the pictures you see on informercials.

My amazingly talented husband has a track on the album. Go download it for free!

MOVIN' ALONG

2010-12-23T14:37:00.000-08:00

Since tomorrow's Christmas Eve, we got our update early! Moved up one spot! 19!

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THAT FACE!!

2010-12-21T13:37:00.000-08:00

It's getting so close and I can't stop thinking about what it's going to be like to see Arthur's picture for the first time!! I've been finding other referral pics and watching videos from other families to ease the anticipation a bit. Here are referral pictures from some of the blogs I follow...

Zoie from My Crazy Adoption

Tegegne from Bicycle Basket

Zinashi from Finding Magnolia

Silas and Olive from Ethiopia or Bust

FRIDAY UPDATE

2010-12-17T14:42:00.001-08:00

Every Friday we get an update from our agency letting us know how many referrals (if any) came through. I will be subtracting the referrals and we can watch this number get smaller every week! Sound good?

YOU'VE TAUGHT ME SO MUCH!

2010-12-10T07:23:00.000-08:00

Arthur,

I don't even know who you are, but you've taught me so much!!

Through sharing our story and realizing we can't do this alone, I've learned a little something about being vulnerable.

You've made me more aware of the severity of today's orphan crisis and sparked a passion in me so strong it hurts.

I've learned that we have been adopted as God's children and I understand a little better how much he loves us!

I learned how to start a business! I was always too scared before.

You've taught me how to let go and trust that God is going to make a way.

Being on a budget has forced me to get over myself a little, and be ok with less. yay! This feels so good!

And lastly... you've introduced me to some great friends that I hope will be lifelong :)

I mean come on... are those not the sweetest faces?! Love you girls!

#23!

2010-12-09T13:51:00.000-08:00

We heard from our agency a couple days ago. Subject line read "Waiting List Update" So exciting! We haven't received an update like this since we started our wait 10... almost 11 weeks ago.

The email informed us that we are family is #23 on the list overall! Things are starting to move along a lot faster now than they have in the past. We were expecting about a 10 month wait for a referral, but just 10 weeks ago we were #50 or so on the list... you do the math. ;)

JAMBO!

2010-12-03T10:58:00.000-08:00

You know when you have an awesome idea, only to realize someone else thought of it first?? This is a still from Madagascar II. Not the best pic, but this granny is wearing the Jambo shirt!!! Zig zags and all. Weird huh?

BABY GEAR!

2010-12-01T20:46:00.000-08:00

STROLLER

MONITOR

DIAPER BAG

CAR SEAT

BABY FOOD PROCESSOR

G DIAPERS

HIGH CHAIR

I've sort of figured out that I can't really buy ANYTHING until I know how old Arthur is. It is killing me!! I have all this time to get ready and make decisions, but alas, all I can really do is stare at his cute curtains. The other day I decided to do some dream shopping online. I picked out things that I would potentially need for a baby 6 months or older. It was really fun and relieved some of my frustration even though I didn't purchase anything. I felt more prepared in a way... until I started asking other moms about this stuff! ha! For the most part, my mommy friends have been very awesome and have helped me sort through some things, but I have definitely learned that every mom is different. Every baby is different. And I can listen to all kinds of different opinions, but at the end of the day it's going to be me and Aaron and Arthur trying different things and figuring out what works for us :)

WERE YOU BORN TODAY?

2010-12-01T09:39:00.000-08:00

I had the craziest dream that you came into the world last night and when I woke up my insides were aching. I wonder if I could sense you being born from across the world. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.